Should married couples keep secrets from each other?
Should married people keep secrets from each other? The answer is NO! No they shouldn’t but most do and they reason most do is because that element of doubt lingers in the minds of one or both individuals that their matrimonial union might one day end and one or both parties might feel a sense a loss being that they gave everything of themselves to one person and that person can now use what they’ve learned from their now disconnected partner against them.
Couples that grow together stay together and the only way to grow as a union is to give your partner 100% access into your private life. This is not to say you’re going to sit down and tell your partner all of your private life in one day but if your partner asks you. You should have no problem telling him or her what they want to know. It’s called marriage for a reason if you don’t one to become one with another being it’s probably better not to get married.
Should married people keep secrets from each other?
The keyword in all of this is marriage in reality this is why it’s recommended that people don’t get married until their about 25 years of age. The truth is most people haven’t learned who they are until about the age of 25, 26 and if you don’t know who you are as a person how can you expect to merge together with another person to create this man made union called marriage where you are exclusive with one person.
This is not to say that successful marriages can’t happen to people under the age of 25 but it explains why marriages of young people typically end early. It should also be noted that every marriage is unique and truth be told that there are successful marriages where both parties do keep secrets from each other but in most scenarios keeping secrets from your party and yes this means any secret is not a good idea.
Keeping secrets opens doors and creates paranoia on both sides. If partner A finds out that the partner B is keeping secrets partner A might decide to keep secrets from that day forward and if Party B discovers partner A is keeping secrets Partner B in this scenario might decide to take things a step further. This is where doubt begins creeping in and in many marriages this is when one person in the marriage decides to overtly or openly try to take the role as a dominant in the relationship.
When this occurs unless this was already established early on in the relationship rifts start to appear and arguments begin to start. It’s at this point that marriages are tested and unnecessary questions are asked. As free human beings we all have choices or options; marriage in western society is an option and if you decide to get married unless one person is the obvious dominant figure in the relationship an understanding that secrets are not permitted in this marriage should be established.
Understanding the different types of marriages
If these rules are not established don’t be surprised when the relationship starts to crumble. In some cultures marriages stay together but this is usually because in most cases the male is dominant figure. The wife excepts the role as inferior while the husband is free to do as he chooses in this marriage the male can keep as many secrets as he pleases while the wife who in some instances is in fear of her life must disclose everything about herself. If the woman agrees with this arrangement chances are this marriage will last because the rules have been established.
On the other hand in western society women typically women are more liberated and consider themselves equals to their male or female partners. In this scenario and this also applies to males who chose to marry other males as well there is no dominant individual when two people marry in North America they’re doing so believing that each other is equal none better or more dominant than the other in this instance it’s the opinion of the author of this blog posting that rules must be established the number one rule that should be established is NO SECRETS!
Any doubt in a relationship in western society should be established in a prenuptial agreement which balances power in the event of a break up. I advise anyone considering marriage not to keep secrets from their partner I also advise you to recommend the same from your partner. Even if you’re completely in love with your partner and you believe that you will never break up create a prenuptial agreement if as a couple you can create this you will know everything you need to know about your partner which in reality should make your relationship more stronger.